Don't Let Anyone Else Hold the Pen

     My mom gave me this beautiful pen before she left me at BYU before my second semester of college. It writes beautifully, it fits perfectly into my hand, but what I love about it the most is the message that it displays on its side. 

     "When writing the story of your life,

     Don't let anyone else hold the pen."

     How I love these words. Of course, my first instinct when I read it, and though I'm sure I've heard the quote before, was that it meant to write your own story, to keep record of it in journal writing.

I am, or strive to be, an avid journal writer. I love pouring my thoughts onto the page, I love recording events that happen in my life, both good and bad, and I love going back and reading about my life in my finished journals... But there's more to it.

     Don't let anyone else hold the pen. When we're acting and doing, we are writing our life story, shaping our future, and creating our past. Nobody can hold that pen, only we can. I am in control of what I do, with whom I speak, and the things I think and feel. But sometimes, and maybe this is human nature, I blame my problems, my failures, my weaknesses, on others and their actions. I blame circumstances and I pretend that they are wielding my pen... But they can't. It is mine and only mine. 

     A few days ago I had a date planned, but the guy never showed up at my apartment. He stood me up. I was bitter, upset, and for a long moment, I was angry at myself and the boy for what he'd "done to me." Thoughts swirled in my head, dark and dreary thoughts of myself, and I turned to my journal. I began to write all these thoughts down, and in a moment of wordlessness on the page I twirled the pen between my fingers. The words etched into the side slowly seeped into my mind, and the tears that had been falling ceased. I was allowing myself to let satan gain influence over me, to darken my image of myself and this boy, and I didn't want that. No matter how much he tries, I will try to. The pen is in my hand; we wield the pens. We can take control and turn away from darkness, turn away from negativity and despair, and write about the good in our lives. 

     My dear, beautiful, selfless, kind mother... She is the good in my life. She is always there for me, no matter the trial, no matter the time, and I love her so very much. She gave me the pen, she gave me life. She has given me more than I can ever give her... She is the good.

     I encourage everyone to find the good in their lives and write about that good. We have so much in our lives worth living for; Heavenly Father loves us dearly, so dearly that he allowed his son to die for us. The very least we can do is write about him in the stories of our lives, our good and blessed lives. If we are diligent, and write stories of service, kindness, love, charity, hope, peace, and most importantly, the Savior, then the stories of our lives will end in exaltation. 

I am writing my life's story, with a smile, and I will write the good.