Intermission

I've had the weirdest experiences working at Walmart. So many people tell me, "you're too good for Walmart" or "I bet that stinks..." And sometimes I definitely agree with them. But lately I'm trying to stay in this mindset- and it's very very hard- to remember that every thing has a purpose. Every place has it's beauty. Every person has worth. Even at Walmart!! That sounds bad, but let me explain. I have encountered so many people and made many friends, shocker I know, that make me feel better than ever. A couple weeks ago, just doing my job, I saw an older man in his driving cart pass by. I asked him if he needed any help, but he smiled and said no thank you. Five minutes later he rolled by me and stopped. "Do you live around here?" He asked. I told him I lived in Murphy, but he said he knew that wasn't it. He preceded to ask me many questions. "Your face is so familiar!" He kept saying, but I really didn't know him and had no idea why we would have crossed paths. Eventually it turned into a wonderful conversation. He asked about my birthday and told my that girls born in July liked to take charge, were hard-headed, and bold. He said they were stubborn, fearless, and in the down-side, that made them naive. "See, I'm into horoscopes," he said. But I had to explain, "I'm not really like that, though."

"Do you like taking charge?"

"Sometimes."

"Are you stubborn?"

"At times."

"Well you're certainly not naive."

"Uh, I think I am. Isn't everyone a little?"

"I'm not. I bet you're fearless."

"Depends on what's initiating the fear."

"Spiders? Men? Walmart?"

"Those aren't things to be fearful of."

"Boys?"

"Now there's a frightening thought."

At this point he scared me a little (and mind, this isn't word for word. I assure you I can't remember conversations this well, but I'm getting the basics). 

"AHA!" He said, "my dear, you were born in the wrong month."

"Well I was supposed to be born in August..."

"That's not what I mean." Then he totally diverted and blurted, "so do you have a boyfriend? A girl as pretty as you HAS to have a boyfriend."

But I explained that I did not want one. "I've been there before and it's really nothing I want any time soon. This portion of my life is about bettering myself."

He nodded but I could tell he didn't understand. 

I was about to say something to explain, when he said, "you've gotten your heart broken haven't you."

"You kind of have to have one for it to break." I said. 

He shook his head and, to my surprise, took my hand (which was sweaty from holding the game case keys... Remember I'm at Walmart.) and he said, "There is no way you don't have a heart, young lady."

I honestly tried to end the conversation but he just kept talking about things, told me finally that his name was Don. (Retired mailman and Walmart employee... Anyway) somehow it came up thst i was LDS and we figured out his nephew was LDS and it was cool. I told him why i wasnt at school, and other things and finally he remembered he had to go. But he took my hand again and said, "I can hope that your boy is out there becoming a man so that he's worthy for you. He's out there somewhere. Bless your heart." 

I went into the bathroom and cried. 

My Friends Leave For College this Week

I don't want to be left behind

People say that all the time

But whether I'm deaf or dumb or blind

This life I live is mine

Memories stir with every sound

I don't know whether to stay or go

But i'm Idly sitting on the ground

And time just isn't moving slow

If I want to act the time is now

If I want to fly I need the wings

But here I am beneath the clouds

Enduring the bites and the stings
Help me not to be alone

As soon as they are all gone

Promise me, that I'll be okay

Or that I won't be hurting long

Publish Peace

Whoso shall publish peace

How beautiful upon the mountains they'll be

Who shall relieve tension and malice 

And try for time and eternity...

If peace is as a river 

Then righteousness is as the waves of the sea

Keep the tributaries flowing

How helpful to the ocean they'll be.

Without peace there is no righteousness

For without the river there is no sea

So whosoever shall publish peace

How beautiful upon the mountains they'll be

Scripture references: 

1 Nephi 13:37

1 Nephi 20:18

Missing my Missionaries

There are a lot of things I am missing this morning, but I woke up and smiled, because one thing my mother keeps telling me, "Each morning you wake up, choose to turn on your happy switch." she said, "You know your grandmother's favorite quote is 'be happy or act happy; no one cares which' " So this morning, I turned my happy switch on, but I guess the circuit breaker needs some work because I sat down to read my brother's email after breakfast, and almost couldn't make it through the email without tears. He entitles every email "Le Miracle I," "Le Miracle II," and so forth. Every week in France is a miracle to him. Every person he meets is a member of his family. Every thing he does is happy, joyful, leaning towards Heavenly Father and the true gospel.
When I was younger I knew my brother would serve a mission, and that when it happened, I would miss him. I didn't expect what happened. Both my siblings that are out on missions, my older sister and my older brother, were very beautiful and spiritual people. Now as I read their emails, receive their letters, I notice the difference in-between the lines of their writings. They are changing. Becoming more like Christ, more like the people they were sent on this earth to become. It is such a beautiful thing, and I am so happy for them, I am so happy to call them my brother and sister; but of all the things I am missing this morning, I miss them. So much.
They both wrote me special letters for my birthday. I'd never been extremely close with my brother, Alec. But we are close. Jenessa, growing up, was my roomate. Naturally we fought. Very often. However, we are very close and I miss her very much because she has always been there for me thrugh times like these, and now she is not here with me. In their letters, though, were some of the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken just to me. I cried through both letters. Alec's was in french, of course, because he is trying to encourage me to study it, as he wish he had prior to receiving his call. Jenessa's was an email that she sent my mom to print out and give to me. I will not share the letters, but one bit that my sister wrote to me.
"We are so so so special and you truly are an elect daughter of God and Satan will do all he can to stop youy from becoming the woman God wants you to be! Stay strong against Him and ALWAYS read your patriarchal blessing and remember Gods promises to you!"
Words. Those words, have been ringing in my ears. I am not working towards the woman I want to be. I am letting things of the world, things of my past, other people, and sickness barge in and turn off the happy switch. Yes, I miss my brother and sister. But they are doing the Lord's work on the Lord's time, and when they are done, It will be my turn. Yes, I miss them, But that will no longer bring me down, but lift me up.

Alec in France... Being who he is. :) 

Jenessa leaving at the MTC curb.

Together

We're going to climb the highest peak and reach the top

We'll do it all together, and never stop

So if two can make it why must one more fall? 

All for one, and one for all. 

Today I am reminded how much young women of the world need one another to stand strong. More importantly, though, they need their savior. So precious are the daughters of God that the adversary will do all he can to keep them from returning to their God. But we are strong. Girls are serving missions, setting examples, bearing their testimonies an rendering unconditional service. A young woman in my ward got up today, one in which I have grown to love with all my heart. Her spirit was strong in her young eyes, and her tears of gratitude for this gospel and her friends was touching.  I realized that, in life, the smallest acts of kindness make a huge difference. And if one can do so much good, a group can do more. Standing tall alone doesn't always have to be the case. Even if we feel alone, there are others on this earth going through similar trials, with similar standards. And, of course, there's the savior. He knows exactly how you feel because he's been there. For everyone. 

Kia kaha my sisters, stay strong. 

You are daughters of a King.