What are these? Tears?

I don’t really feel like being here right now, all I want is to go home, but in a sense I can’t fathom going home.  My room is a wreck, and yet it’s empty. Boxes barging in, or wanting to. Pushing them away, I don’t want them to come in and swallow it all… I don’t want anything but what I had, and what this all used to be. Change. How much I hate, it, but I guess I was asking for it, wasn’t I? I asked for a change, and complained that I never got what I wanted so here I am facing a change that will either make or break my life. Moving. I’ve done it before and I guess it shouldn’t be that hard, but last time I had hardly anything to hold on to. I didn’t think that I had anything here until the danger of losing it all became clear. Laughter surrounds me but a heartbreak consumes me. No one knows. I’m fine, I don’t care. I am happy to leave. Happy to go back to where I had nothing- but wait, what is this? Tears? I haven’t had them in so long and suddenly they come  me as if they’ve been my companion for years. They aren’t my companion, they need to leave but they keep flowing, on the inside. Always on the inside. Tears don’t seem to be able to flow anywhere else.

Away

He pushes me away

Every day

Yet I can't stand

When he's not holding my hand

But he pushes me down

I cry with a frown

And as i run away

I can't stop to say

That I was in love

It must've been a mistake, He can't love

Not when he treats me this way

Oh he's pushing me away

And yet he took my breath away

When I saw him walk in today

Through my stomach was tight

I almost could pretend I was alright

But he took off without saying a word

As I stood there feeling so awkward, so absurd

He texts me his apology

Nice to know just what he thinks of me

That he can tell his phone much later

But it just makes the pain much greater

Cause though I've not shed a single tear

I feel like I've cried for many a year

He's supposed to be

My fantasy

The one to hold 

When life gets old

Someone I can cry to, and let him cry to me

But nothing in my life plays out quite happily

Words.

Always :)

Best Quotes From General Conference:

"Every Cinderella has her midnight" ~Thomas S. Monson

"The moment we judge another is the moment we condemn ourselves." ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"If you want to change the world, you have to be different from the world." ~Elaine S. Dalton

Lost Sheep

Life is hard when you have no guide
You seem lost and all alone
There's no one beside you to match your stride
or to lead you to the safety zone
Life is hard when you've gone astray
your eyes can see no light
There's no one there to show the way

Or settle your own plight
Life is hard when you have no map
Your feet choose where to go
There's nothing there to rest on your lap
No directions it can show
Life is hard when you have no guide
You seem lost and all alone
There's no one beside you to match your stride
Or to lead you safely home...
           But...
                    He will guide you home.

Sometimes you go through suffering

That’ll make you cry and moan

But if you pray sincerely

He will guide you home

Help is not always immediate

But put on hold on the phone

If you lose service- move forward

He will guide you home

Grab hold of that steering wheel

Pull out of the danger zone

If you crash, just stop and kneel

He will guide you home

Keep enduring to the end

You don’t have to go alone

If you get lost- don’t worry

He will guide you home

We all have these moments

We feel like we’re on our own 
But its part of life- be hopeful 
Because He will guide you home

Memories Last Forever

We look on the past to live our present, and shape our future... when really we need to use the memories we have been given, the experiences we have lived, and move on with the valuable knowledge we have been blessed to gain from our troubles. Even if the past hold a fantasy of a memory, and you despair because it is gone, don't. They're not gone, they're still in your heart, Heavenly Father has an even better fantasy in store for you, you just need to prepare for the future by turning past into a beautiful present.

Peace

the smile of a stranger,
the caress of the summer breeze,
the random laugh of a child,
doubled over to its knees.
the gentle crash of the ocean,
the hand settled in mine,
the clouds making faces,
in this endless space of time.

Hold On

Life gets hard and I know we all want to let those stumbling blocks take us down, because our feet are tired and sometimes it's easier to fall than to keep ascending the mountain

But we have to hold on to the rod we were given and let it lead us forward and give us strength.

The Good Samaritan

While traveling on a barren road,
Seeing a man in the corner of my eye
Would I stop and help him, help him get home?
Or would I walk past him, and leave him to die?
A man I knew to be from an enemy people
A man on which I could save money and time
Would I be the samaritan that risked so much
Would it mean that he stepped otu of line?
And when he got home, did he feel the impact?
Of the good he did for that man on the side?
Would he feel the way that I think he would?
Or would he feel drgreaded and try to hide?
While travelling on a barren road
No matter the conseguences that may be
I'll help any I can, I'll help any man
Because thats what was asked of me

My Rose Garden

                               Love is....
The simple rose garden of only red and white
The tiny beam of sunlight on my face
The grain of sand that looks red in the sun
The perfection of the frills upon this lace
My crystal earring without a brother
But the warm, fuzzy slippers under my bed

The bluebird, so cluelessley tapping at the window
Teh breeze, whispering love notes over my head
My crystal ring on the finger to my right
The smile in the old picture frames on the wall
The caress of the summer rain down my back
The railing so close to the edge of the waterfall
The sweet scent of fresh bread on the counter
The feel of my bed after a long day
My journal when I need something to write in
My angel when things don't go my way
                              ... My own rose garden.
Everything grows the way I want it to- or it doesn't grow at all

The Windy Moor

The clouds so small, and yet- so grand

Can be but a ball of cotton in my hand

The birds fly through them- smiling

The sun shines through them brightly

Smiling at the waves crashing in the sand

 The grass so soft, the moor so wide

Comforts those hiding from the birds up high

The cattails slowly moving-

Back as it soaks in the evening tide

They mock the geese that're flying by

And they mock me... for I cannot fly

Your Castle Awaits....

Your Happily Ever After Is Now

Don't forget who you are
A Daughter of a King
No matter what may bring you down
He can always lift you up higher
You are royal
So be loyal to the royal within
And smile
For you are grander than the heavens
You are precious above rubies
You are His

A Turn To Happiness

Turn your head and look at me
-look at me, and can you see?
Open your eyes can take it in
You can win, won't wear yourself thin
Breathe in deep and give a smile
Don't take awhile, just walk the mile
You'll end up in a better place
A happy face, in God's embrace 

Heart of Darkness

heart of darkness, heart of sin
heart held under clammy skin
breath so putrid, breath so vile
breath that intoxicates for many a mile
eyes so solid, eyes so deep
eyes that look where owls don't creep
heart in shadows, heart in pain
heart in agony, all in vain 

~Adapted from the novel Heart Of Darkness by Conrad

The Best Unknown Quotes Ever

"It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves"

"The heart is forever inexperienced"

"Chance made us friends, time made us sisters"

"We're only young once, but with humor, we can be immature forever"

White Cliffs

Toes curled around the white sharp edge
Head peering over the steep slope
Down down down falls the cliff
Yet up up up soars my hope

The rippling wind, the crashing waves
White foam against white cliffs- so grand
Furthermore a white sky dropping white snow
A white dress, and a white rose in hand

Wounded Soldier

Wounded soldier, just how do you fare?
You look in need of one's tender care
Those bruises from battle, so black and blue
Cuts from the warfare that's so hard on you
I'll bandage your head and hold your hand
Until sleep carries you off to another land
Just close your eyes and dream of home
Dream happily, that you are never alone
And when darkness takes you away from me
Have hope that you'll depart me painlessly
My wounded soldier, oh how do you fare?
Among those in Heaven, I know you are there